An Interview With A Russian-American (My Life In 1996 — 2017 Russia)

🇷🇺 РУССКОЯЗЫЧНАЯ ВЕРСИЯ | 🇷🇺 RUSSIAN-LANGUAGE VERSION

ALL PARTS OF THE INTERVIEW WITH A RUSSIAN-AMERICAN

WARNING: At 05:53, I said that I spent days and nights reading the works of Aleksei Tolstoi. It was a mistake. In reality, I was talking about Lev Tolstoi — another Russian writer.

Foreword
Beginning. The First Public Activity
References

1. Foreword

— What is your name? Tell us about yourself.

— My name is Vladimir Dorokhin. I was born and lived in Russia in the Samara city for 22 years, lived in the 15th residential district of that city for more than 20 years, studied in the public school No. 77 for 11 years, and completed my Bachelor’s degree in the Samara University on the Faculty of Physics. Three years ago, I made the forced decision not to return to Russia — and I will tell you why.

— Why do you want to do it now?

— When Russia invaded Ukraine on the 24th of February, 2022, I decided to make a multipart film about my history of political and journalistic activism because I have seen the whole transformation of Russia before the invasion. I was preparing a script, a storyboard, a selection of locations, interviews with witnesses, film editing, color grading, and other things. The project was supposed to be finished in a month and a half or two months. But on the 21st of September, 2022, Russian President Vladimir Putin signed a decree about mobilization in Russia, and I decided to tell everything differently.

— Have you shared with anyone about what was going on with you before?

— I kept silence for the last 3 years and communicated with only a few people from Russia in order to not immerse them into my activities. No one fully knew what I was doing or what I was going through. And no one was fully aware of my position on what is going on in Russia: I did not raise these topics even with my relatives.
All of my predictions were confirmed, including the ones about mass mobilization and the horror that followed afterwards. If some of my acquaintances and relatives dislike my position, and they will want to turn away from me or decide to cut ties with me — it will not change my position, I am ready for anything.

Next, I speak for myself and only myself. This is my brief history, which I was rewinding in my head absolutely every day. I kept my notes with details from 2017 to 2019, as I felt that I could use them. And what I will tell you is only a small part of the pressure I encountered. For safety, I can not tell the whole story, so I will limit my speech to a small snippet of my life for now.
But I hope that even this snippet will help you to better understand me and how we got to this point in the first place.

2. Beginning. The First Public Activity

— When did you become interested in all of this — and why?

— When I was 8 years old, I got immersed into learning English: I got an opportunity to learn about European and Western cultures, as well as to engage with the world through the use of the international language. At the same time, I have never had any desire to replace Russian culture with Europe and the West — but I understood that studying these cultures was necessary to understand my own culture.

When I got a computer at home at the age of 13, I got immersed into the Internet: it became my introduction to the real world instead of the stagnant streets of the 15th residential district in Samara. And that’s when I began to take an interest in both social constructs and the possibility to change them for the better. Much of this was due to growing up in a family with a low level of income and seeing the low standard of living of the people around me. And the first events like the «March of Millions» in 2012, the Bolotnaya Square case, and the consequences for those involved in these events only boosted my interest in a peaceful social change in Russia.

I spent days and nights reading the works of Lev Tolstoi, Karl Marx, Adam Smith, Jacque Fresco, and other eminent authors.

I spent days and nights reading about every system I could get my hands on: capitalism, socialism, fascism, anarchy, nationalism, technocracy, libertarianism, resource-based economy, and many others. Again — I have never had any desire to strive for Russia as a copy of the US or China, but I was aware that studying these social systems was essential for understanding the current system in Russia and ways to change the social life for the better.

Even when I was 13 years old (which was 13 years ago), Russia felt like a different country. For all the Russians I have ever interacted with back then, Ukraine was perceived as a fraternal country, and Ukrainians were perceived as a fraternal nation. Lessons in my school contained much less governmental propaganda. You could still visit the US for a year as an exchange student. Counselors from the US still could visit multilingual camps and visit kids there. It is even unusual to say this, but news on Russian television were less one-sided, and the «political» talk shows had a different rhetoric.

Even back then, though, if I need to tell you right away, I can not think of a single case or action from the Russian government that I could support. Does it mean that there were no positive initiatives from them at all? No, it doesn’t — it would not be wise to think in such extremes. The world is not divided into exclusively black and exclusively white colors. But to be honest, my perception of this Russian government is so drowned in all the horror that they created and keep creating in front of my eyes, that it becomes very difficult for me to stay unbiased about them.

As for 13 years ago — authoritarianism has already felt in the air. Just like the observation that Russian public institutions and civil society were consistently degrading.

— Was there anything that you remembered the most from that time?

— I remember especially clearly the reflection of the events of Euromaidan in 2013 on the Russian everyday life and the annexation of Crimea by Russia in 2014. All the instant criticism of the events in Ukraine from every corner. All the instant contempt and disrespect towards Ukrainians as a nation in real life and on the Internet. All the intoxicating euphoria of the annexation of Crimea. To me, it was especially visible from the older — «Soviet» — generation. Most of my peers and classmates, on the other hand, for the most part expressed nothing but passiveness and disinterest in understanding the changes happening at that moment. Every time, I did my best to discuss these issues with my classmates during my first 2 years at the university — but only a few people out of several dozen participated in these discussions. However, it did not prevent many of those who «stayed away» from taking part in a «flash mob» in «support» of the annexation of Crimea by Russia.

— Why did you put «support» in quotes?

— Because I remember all these conversations — all my classmates went there just in exchange for one day off from classes. No one attended these events «for the idea».

— Maybe you just didn’t tolerate other points of view and that’s why not many people discussed all of these ideas with you?

— I have never had the desire that everyone should agree with my point of view. I only welcomed discussion from people with pro-government viewpoints as well, because I am convinced that a diversity of justified opinions is useful. But trading your beliefs and values for a day off from classes is not diversity. Contempt of the Euromaidan like a robot, disrespecting Ukrainians like a robot, and feeling intoxicating euphoria from the annexation of Crimea like a robot is not diversity. All of this was a terrifying social turnaround in the wrong direction that was taking place right in front of my eyes.

— Understood. What happened next?

— When I was 20, I transferred my student application to the Saint Petersburg State University of Telecommunications and moved to the city of Saint Petersburg itself. I lived there for almost a year. I made friends with plenty of interesting people in the media field, worked on my music and an English-Russian podcast, and I intentionally visited over 130 museums and exhibitions alone in Saint Petersburg and beyond the city to take my understanding of Russian culture to the next level. I did all of this to bring peaceful social change to a country that is important to me.

But when I experienced bribery from some teachers and the university administration representatives, I decided to get my Bachelor’s degree at the Samara University and pass everything honestly and with my own efforts, instead of paying bribes through the faculty representatives for credits, for exams, or for involuntary «classes» with a teacher to «prepare for the exams». When I returned, I felt especially clearly how bad things are in the «ordinary» Russia — even compared to its «second capital». How bad the corruption is, how weakened the civil society is, how censorship and self-censorship is becoming stronger, and what humiliating existence most people in Russia have to experience.

— Did you plan to do something to help them?

— At that time, an election campaign of Aleksei Navalnyi was gaining popularity, and after a long debate with myself, I decided to devote all my energy to that campaign for exclusively peaceful goals. Why «after a long debate with myself»? Because I have never fully supported the goals and methods of Navalnyi Headquarters. This political campaign of Alexei Navalnyi had never fully aligned with my views — but at that time, it was the most effective opportunity for peaceful resistance to Putin’s political regime. That’s why I decided to start cooperating with them as a Headquarters activist.

It was my first participation in a public project — before that, I worked on them only privately and only by using the Internet for educational purposes. I have always been very cautious of politics and politicians — so, my main motivation was not the victory of Navalnyi, but rather creation of a real productive discussion and positive social changes.