🇷🇺 РУССКОЯЗЫЧНАЯ ВЕРСИЯ | 🇷🇺 RUSSIAN-LANGUAGE VERSION
ALL PARTS OF THE INTERVIEW WITH A RUSSIAN-AMERICAN
— What happened after you made the decision not to return to Russia?
— I moved from the New York City to the Philadelphia city, rented myself a room in one of the cheapest neighborhoods, and spent days and nights preparing the necessary documents. Thankfully, the owner of a pizza place in the New Hampshire state allowed me to work overtime every day throughout the summer, so I managed to save a few thousand dollars. And they were my only savings for an indefinite period of time, because my work authorization from the «Work and Travel» program expired on September 15, and I could not work anymore. Until I got my papers, I was only using my feet, slept on the floor, bought only the bare necessities at «everything for a dollar» stores, and ate a bare minimum once a day. I didn’t know how many months I would have to wait, and I was already preparing myself for the real possibility of becoming homeless. I deliberately decided right away to not even try to fool the U.S. Immigration Department — but to follow all of their laws and procedures instead. I simply had to stay outside of Russia no matter what.
I remember all my feelings about visiting an immigration department and talking one-on-one with an immigration officer. I remember what the facilities and offices looked like. I remember the crowds of people trying to stay in the United States no matter what and the faces of these people. I also remember the long wait for a final decision for my case in the department building — as well as the people who walked in front of me and got their papers rejected one by one. I especially remember when my application was confirmed — and how I almost passed out from relief that I would not be deported and could be safe with a thousand dollars in savings that I kept for a room and food. I will probably remember all of that for the rest of my life.
— Did you feel better after you were allowed to stay in the United States?
— Yes and no. It wasn’t until a few days after receiving my permit that I remotely began to understand the price I will have to pay as a Russian immigrant in the United States — along with the harm to my psychology. I did not even expect the sudden psychological shock that hit me: for the first couple of months, I just laid on the floor, ate through effort, and slept for 15 hours a day.
Then, I went through the loss of a sense of home. Absolute loneliness without being able to have a meaningful live conversation with anyone for 2 and a half years. Starting from scratch in a fast food restaurant during mass layoffs. Inability to find a normal office job after 150 resumes sent out. Working as a food delivery man on a self-assembled electric bicycle during Philadelphia’s deadliest year. Seeing an ambulance and a bloody corpse after a shooting on the street next to me. An incident where I almost got shot from a car. Working 20-hour days and sleeping overnight on a folding bed at work. A hit and run with an anonymous speeding car right in the middle of nowhere, after which I was left alive with broken bones and broken glass in my neck only by chance. The loss of the most of my savings from the medical bills for the car accident. Loss of confidence in myself and in all my accomplishments and aspirations. The constant feeling like a «second-class» person in the U.S., with whom no one wants real communication, let alone friendship. And a lot more.
It was definitely the harshest depression of my life, coming at a time of coronavirus, mass layoffs and the lockdowns.
I struggled with depression and total loneliness for 2 and a half years. But in my struggle, I was greatly helped by the thought that it would be wrong to get my papers and not use this opportunity for good, peaceful purposes, both for the people of Russia and for the world. Since I was given the opportunity to stay and I was saved from persecution in Russia, I decided that I needed to help both my fellow citizens and persecuted people around the world.
So, after the coronavirus happened and the isolation began, I found one opportunity to put my good peaceful goals into practice. I began to engage in international non-profit non-governmental anonymous journalism and information distribution in 2 languages — English and Russian. Translation, subtitling, voice-over processing, video edits — I did all this together with my other — absolutely regular — work.
— Why did you choose to do this anonymously?
— One of the determining factors was that I immediately gave up all possible attempts to «outsmart» the U.S. Immigration Department and decided to behave honestly with them and in accordance with the law. My anonymous activity was my «ego test» — would I contribute something that did not help me personally and did not increase my visibility? My anonymous activities were also my «relatively safe way out» — for example, if I had an urgent need to notify immigration authorities, leave the United States, and go back to Russia.
In short, I needed the Russian government to have no idea that I was in the U.S. and that I engaged in non-profit non-governmental international activities with a focus on materials about Russia.
— Did you have access to secret or classified documents?
— No, I made a promise to myself not to even try to gain access to them. More than that, I have made a commitment to distribute only checked and objectively verifiable materials and not to transform any of the materials for the benefit of any political movement or for the benefit of any government.
The Russian government did something terrible? I worked on the related materials and distributed them. The Russian government did something helpful? I also worked on related materials and distributed them.
People require access to information that is open and as objective as possible.
Anticipating your possible question — no, no one has contacted me from governments or «interested parties». Neither did I contact them. Of course, someone else’s life turns that way, but I never wanted that for myself.
Of course, then you might ask: «How did you even start doing this then?» And I will have to answer with a question to the question: «How do people start writing their first journalistic articles — or updating articles on “Wikipedia“, for example?»
They just start it and do it. They start from scratch, without any connections. Not seeking material gain, but unselfishly working for the good of their country and for the good of all people on Earth. And then, in one way or another, they get in touch with like-minded people, with whom they work together and become better at what they do.
I will tell you even more — anyone can start doing what I have been doing for 2 and a half years. Including you. And all of this anonymous, non-profit, non-governmental activity is a great test of «your ego» and your system of values. Thanks to this, you will be able to understand both yourself and the people around you much better — and you will become more realistic about the world you live in.
— Did you receive money for your activities?
— No, I never took any money for my work. My key principles in my international non-profit work over these 2 and a half years have been neutrality and maximum independence. And I have not violated any of those principles in all that time.
— Can you tell us briefly about your work?
— I worked in a team of anonymous nonprofit journalists like myself. For security reasons, we did not know each other’s real names or, of course, each other’s residential addresses. All of us were doing it remotely — and all of us lived in different countries. We communicated via free (libre) encrypted messengers, and we exchanged files using other free software, also encrypted.
— What events did you cover during that time?
— In fact, there have been so many of these events in those 2 and a half years that they require a separate interview. But I can list the most local and notable ones in the mass media field. These were forced coronavirus restrictions and isolation in Russia, Moscow protests and their suppression, protests in Belarus and their suppression, the poisoning of Aleksei Navalnyi, protests in Kazakhstan — and many other events from 2020 to 2022. Of course, there was also the Russian invasion of Ukraine.
I want to repeat the following — all these 2 and a half years I have been engaged in an exclusively anonymous, non-commercial, neutral work and as independent as possible of any political movement or state. That is why I have also covered events in the West and in Europe, including other countries. I have not dealt exclusively with the post-Soviet countries. But my focus has been on Russia because, first, I was born in Russia and understand my fellow citizens on a cultural level, and second, I still study and analyze a great deal of Russian history, because all of that is important to me.
These events and other ones — all of them were covered by me almost every day in English and Russian.
— Have you posted your work on any website? Or on some social network?
— We used both different social networks and «Wikipedia» in different languages for promoting the works and updating the encyclopedia articles. We used dozens of accounts of fictional people with different «psychological portraits» for publishing, so that we were extremely difficult to track down even despite a big desire. In addition, both our common and my personal journalistic materials, translations, subtitles, voice-overs and video edits were used and distributed by a very huge number of people. Even by the mass media that many people in Russia and around the world have heard of. And I am pretty certain that you know them too — and even read the materials of these media every day.
— Did this activity affect you psychologically in any way?
— Yes, I did it almost every day for a few hours before and after my «normal» job. And the more I dealt with the original photos, videos and documents, the more it impacted my psychological state of mind. I can say that my strongest desire to help my fellow citizens and people from all over the world helped me a lot to move forward.
Personally, I have never separated myself from my fellow citizens in Russia. And even if my positions and views on what is happening do not coincide with many of them, but we «differ» peacefully, I am convinced that I can still make a difference — because I understand their thinking on a cultural level.
— When did you stop your activities?
— Initially, I decided to end my anonymous activities in the middle of February, 2022. I came to the New York City for a week, because I wanted both to finally work on my video project and to finally work on my personal life. In New York, I spent that time alone but in a very interesting and somehow… psychologically new way.
On February 21, I returned to Philadelphia — and a day later, before I went to bed, I discovered that Russia invaded Ukraine. I could not sleep anymore that day — nor, could I normally sleep for several months. And I was far from being alone in that — including the people in my social circle.
But I made the necessary decision to resume my anonymous activities back on February 24.
ALL PARTS OF THE INTERVIEW WITH A RUSSIAN-AMERICAN
🇷🇺 РУССКОЯЗЫЧНАЯ ВЕРСИЯ | 🇷🇺 RUSSIAN-LANGUAGE VERSION
References
- An image of the Times Square in the New York City is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0
- An image of the Philadelphia city is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0
- An image of the Germantown station in the Philadelphia city is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0
- An image of the Hampton Beach in New Hampshire is licensed under CC BY 2.0
- An image of the U.S. Citizenship And Immigration Services building is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0
- An image of the vaccination spot on Broadway in the New York city is licensed under CC BY 2.0
- An image of Russian doctors in the Moscow city during COVID-19 is licensed under CC BY 4.0
- An image of the 2019 Moscow protests is licensed under CC BY 4.0
- An image of the 2020 Belarusian protests is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0
- An image of the 2021 protests in support of Aleksei Navalnyi is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0
- An image of the 2022 Kazakhstan protests is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0
- An image of the Kyiv region after the Russian invasion of Ukraine is licensed under CC BY 4.0
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